The Garden of Secrets (Dean Steele Mystery Thriller Book 4) by A.J. Rivers

Author:A.J. Rivers [Rivers, A.J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Dean Steele FBI Mystery Thriller
Publisher: A.J. Rivers
Published: 2023-10-04T16:00:00+00:00

Sienna

Eleven years ago

Cold rain running down my back was enough to chill me down to the bones. I woke up this morning hoping for sun. Last night was the last I could pay for in the motel I’d been staying in for the last couple of weeks, and I knew if some sort of miracle didn’t come my way, I’d be bunking out on a bench or under a tree somewhere until I found a way to get another room.

It wouldn’t be the first time. I was very familiar with setting up a makeshift camp wherever I needed to. When your entire existence was focused on chasing that next thrill, that next high, that next thing to fill the void and ease the pain, things like having a solid place to live didn’t seem nearly as important. Not until you woke up to pelting rain and the little TV sitting on an old dresser told you it was going to be just a few degrees above freezing for the next couple of nights.

I wasn’t even living that life anymore. It had been a long time since I gave in to the cravings and impulses that had controlled me for so long. I barely even felt them anymore. Sometimes when I was feeling particularly low or, on the other hand, especially good, it was still my instinct to reach for something to either soothe me or to celebrate. But that was just compulsion. Habit. I didn’t want it anymore. I hadn’t in a year. When my brother snatched me back from the edge of finally dying because of my stupidity, I decided right then I was done with it. I wasn’t going to do it anymore.

For once I was going to live my life rather than trying to drown it out.

That meant trying to make it on my own. He offered to help me. Everybody did. But that wasn’t what I wanted. They’d been dragging me back up to my feet for years, and I didn’t want to see that in their eyes when they looked at me anymore. That look that said they were glad I was still breathing but were just waiting for the next thing I was going to do to humiliate them and spit on everything they’d done for me.

I wasn’t going to do that again. I was going to leave everything I knew, all the temptations and bad influences, and actually make something of myself. They’d be proud of me.

And I ended up here.

It had been a year since I walked out of my brother’s house and promised I would be all right. He always sounded relieved when I called him to check in and let him know what I was up to. Every few days, maybe once a week or so, I’d let him know where I’d found myself and what I was doing. I told him all the good things, and for months it was almost all good. I didn’t get right off to a running start or anything, but I did what I could.

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